“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!                  2 Corinthians 5:17

            I have a friend whose family is experiencing some brokenness.  This is a family that has been a God fearing, loving family and was raised in a church.  An older sister’s second marriage is on the rocks after the discovery of and admission to a one night affair.  This is what most of the family knows.  However, my friend knows her sister’s pain rages much deeper.  My friend is privileged with knowledge that her sister’s pain is laced with guilt over an abortion her sister was pressured into many, many years ago as a young adult.  Yes my friends, you read that correctly.  This is a Christian who chose to have an abortion, marry and then divorce, remarry and then have an affair.  Yes friends, even Christians can and sometimes will make poor choices and experience brokenness.

            As I’ve supported my friend through this difficult experience, I see how she has shown so much grace- God’s grace- through attempted phone calls and e-mails.  I see how she has continued to love even though she is repeatedly judged and rejected by her sister.           What glares most to me though in this situation is the pain and agony of the spirit of my friend’s sister.  She feels so broken and lost that she believes she is beyond the love and acceptance of this world.  However, my friend and I both know she is not beyond the love and acceptance of our Lord.

A song currently being played on my favorite radio station perfectly describes this sense of being for my friend’s sister and for so many others in this broken and depraved world.   The song is You Are More by Tenth Avenue North.  The song tells of a girl who has found herself broken and lost and believing she is beyond love and acceptance.        

            I have heard this song replayed numerous times over the last few months and it always brings me back to the promise our Heavenly Father makes in 2 Corinthians.  He promises that if we make the choice to live in Christ, he will make us a new creation.  It doesn’t matter how far we have fallen.  It doesn’t matter what horrible choices we’ve made or problems we’ve created.  The old life we lived, our old habits, our old ways of believing will be gone and a new, abundant life full of God’s love, God’s mercy, God’s forgiveness and God’s grace will transform us into the humans he meant for us to be.  Will we slip up every now and then and return to our old ways?  Possibly.  However, if you are truly living in Christ, you will remember that this new life is not about the choices we make or the problems we create.  It’s about what He did to make it possible to remake you.  And when you truly believe that, you can’t help but use His strength and His will to transform your life.

 You Are More music video

Lyrics from You Are More by Tenth Avenue North 

There’s a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she’s wandered
And the shame she can’t hide

She says, “How did I get here?
I’m not who I once was.
And I’m crippled by the fear
That I’ve fallen too far to love”

But don’t you know who you are,
What’s been done for you?
Yeah don’t you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

Well she tries to believe it
That she’s been given new life
But she can’t shake the feeling
That it’s not true tonight

She knows all the answers
And she’s rehearsed all the lines
And so she’ll try to do better
But then she’s too weak to try

But don’t you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

‘Cause this is not about what you’ve done,
But what’s been done for you.
This is not about where you’ve been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”

 Romans 8:28

 Do you look at the glass half empty or half full?  Do you always carry that same perspective despite your circumstances?  Depending on the day you talk to me depends on my perspective of that glass.  You see, I’m still learning how to hold a consistent view of that glass despite whatever lens I’m looking through- a clear one or a cloudy one.  Oh I’m very good at looking through the clear lens and finding the blessings in others’ lives and circumstances, but when it comes to my own . . . well the cloudy lens blocks my view and I struggle at times to see the blessings in my situation.  I believe this comes from my long held belief that hard times were a punishment for disobedience and mistakes.  I believed that if I kept all my little ducks in a row and made all the “right” choices, then life would be easy and I would be blessed.  Unfortunately, that leaves out how to handle the struggles of life because as humans we are sinful and are bound to experience suffering for our sins and the sins of others.  It also leaves out the opportunity for us to see God’s ability to show grace and mercy. 

So, one of my personal goals lately has been to learn how to handle these difficult times in my life with a little more half full perspective.  One thing I’ve learned about myself is my need for total dependence on God during difficult times.  Instead of beating myself up for whatever mistakes I may have made leading me to my suffering, or blaming others’ mistakes and actions for my suffering, I’m learning how to view these situations as God’s call to me to come closer and listen.  He has many great truths to share with me and it is often during these times of suffering that my heart is most ready to hear what He has to say and to be reassured by Him.  The first seven months of this year have given me several opportunities to try seeing my circumstances through Christ’s eyes instead of my own.  Through each experience I am learning to remember that I KNOW God loves me and wants ONLY good for me because in Romans he tells me “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  Do you hear what that promise holds?  It’s an AMAZING promise!  Our Almighty Father can take whatever circumstance we’re in and turn into good . . . if only we will trust him and work obediently for him.  Now I will admit, I’ve still had a few moments of beating myself up and recounting my “should haves”, but those moments haven’t lasted nearly as long as they used to and God’s peace that surpasses all understanding seems to settle in a little quicker for me now.  And for that I am thankful and know that God’s slowly, in His time, changing my heart so that I might ALWAYS see the glass half full.

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Today I am beginning a blog.  “Yeah, you and everyone else in this internet seduced society,” you say.  You’re also probably questioning, “So what’s going to make yours so different from the millions of others I can find on the ‘World Wide Web’ and make it worth my time?”  Well, I can’t promise I’ll make it worth your time, but I do know that what I will write about will change someone’s world and bring them a sense of peace they’ve never experienced before.  And for that one person, it will be worth my time.

You see, I have finally surrendered my life to Jesus Christ and I recognize that the gift of writing and relating to others has been given to me so that He can use me to bring Him glory.  Christ has prompted me to write so He can touch your life and draw you closer to Him.  My prayer is that your heart is open to reading/hearing what He has to say and that my own strong will doesn’t get in the way.

This blog will share my own journey to the discovery of Christ’s eternal love and truth as well as share what I continue to learn about my Father and His love for me.  You see, I didn’t always feel God loved me.  Much like the Samaritan woman we meet in John 4, I was parched and thirsty, but not of a physical kind.  To summarize this story, Jesus stops at a well outside the town of Samaria during one of his many journeys.  While there he speaks with a Samaritan woman and asks her for a drink.  This shocks the woman because, according to social standards of the day Jesus was a man speaking to a woman that was not his wife or relative.  Even more shocking, Jesus was a Jew speaking to a Samaritan.  Jews were several social classes above Samaritans.  So you can imagine the sense of worthlessness this Samaritan woman would have felt approaching the well seeing a Jewish man sitting there, and then her utter confusion when this Jewish man respectfully asks for a legitimate drink of water.  I imagine as she approached the well she was probably bracing herself for mistreatment and rehearsing whatever lines she may need to defend herself from a typical Jew’s degrading remarks.  However, when she confronts Jesus with his crossing social boundaries, his reply is to offer her a gift.  He tells her in verse 10 “Everyone who drinks this water (referring to the water in the well) will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst.  Indeed, the water I give him will become a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”  This was the kind of water this broken woman needed.  A kind of water that would fill the empty well that existed in her soul.  Jesus’ words of truth, and even more so his actions, spoke that even this Samaritan woman was a precious child of God’s.  Eventually Jesus led her to understand and believe she was beautifully and wonderfully made in God’s image and dearly loved by her heavenly Father.  This eternal truth and life-giving water was also what my soul needed.

I was brought up in the Christian church and always believed in God as the universal creator.  However, I didn’t come know Him as my redeemer and understand His love for me until my 30’s.   Before that, my lifestyle was because of my hard work and wise choices.  I had this belief that God loved everyone, but for me, my acceptability depended on how I pleased others with my decisions.  I believed the more good works I did for God the more He would bless me and the easier life would become.  And you know what?  I always fell short, disappointing someone and believing I especially disappointed God.  That whole system of beliefs was shattered in the midst of motherhood when I collapsed due to exhaustion.  I was exhausted from fighting to live according to my will and the will of others.  A short time later two friends came alongside me and helped reveal the power of God’s grace and forgiveness.  They also helped me understand that God is the only person I have to worry about pleasing (which is really hard when you feel like the whole world is against you- probably like Jesus felt when he was crucified- more on that subject later!).  It wasn’t long before I finally got on my knees and told God that I accepted His grace and forgiveness and that I was ready to turn my life over to Him and live according to His will.

And so, now I choose to fill the empty well in my soul with His truth reminding myself often that I am beautifully and wonderfully made in His image.  I also remember as I embark on this journey that He has promised me in Isaiah 41

“I took you from the ends of the earth,

from its farthest corners I called you.

I said, ‘You are my servant’;

I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

And for once, I truly believe it with all my heart!  I pray that you will subscribe to this blog and join me to discover the truth that pours from God’s well into your thirsty soul.